It’s crazy how you can have a good time turn into a bad memory so quickly. You run home, excited, almost skipping – you’re happy. And then you’re not because your normal life puts you back in your place like you were physically hit in the face. It’s relentless this time and comes back for more. It comes in the form of you thinking you can knock on your friend’s door. So, you let it all out and look up to them for comfort. Instead, the door shuts in your face and she won’t hear a word about it. So, you stare shocked, stop and swallow that lump that has formed in your throat along with all the words that needed to come out. And you knock once more, this time more gently, less urgent. You comfort your friend. Apologize for imposing. And you turn to leave, still holding the vomit that’s urging. Go home, lay in bed. Can’t sleep because the words are still stuck in your mind. You couldn’t let them out the first time. Then remember, though it’s been awhile, all that’s left is to pray. Put your head down. Whisper the words you longed to say into the ground and let them be heard in the heavens. Know you haven’t lost a battle; God is holding on to that justice. Trust that one day you’ll be able to look back and say you’ve grown from today. You don’t see it now, but you will find that peace you’ve been looking for.
“He does not break his believing slave except to mend him. He does not withhold from him except to give him. He does not test time except to cure him.”- Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyyah
By Shereen Rammaha