As Muslims, we believe that marriage is an act of worship towards God. The Prophet (ﷺ) urged Muslims to marry and considered marriage as half of one’s religion. He said: “When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of the religion; so let him fear God regarding the remaining half.”[1] In Islam, real servants of God are not monks in monasteries but rather people who marry, have children, work and put food on the table, and that is how we worship God because Islam encompasses everything in life.

If marriage is an act of worship towards God, that means we should try to perfect it the same way we try to perfect other acts of worship, like prayers or fasting, for God to accept it at the Day of Judgement and reward us for it. The prophet (ﷺ) said: “And in man’s sexual intimacy [with his spouse] there is a Sadaqah.” They (the Companions) said: “O Messenger of Allah, is there a reward for him who satisfies his sexual need among us?” He (ﷺ) said, “You see, if he were to satisfy it with something forbidden, would it not be a sin on his part? Similarly, if he were to satisfy it legally, he should be rewarded.”[2]

In marriage, God promised the family tranquility, love, and mercy. God the Almighty said: {And of His (wondrous) signs is that He has created for you, from yourselves, mates, so that you may repose in them. And He has set between you genuine (mutual) love and (tenderhearted) mercy. Indeed, in (all of) this there are sure signs for people who would reflect (on the handiwork of God)} 30:21.

These fruits of the bonds of marriage are gifts that God put in the hearts of the husband and wife regardless of their financial status, background, or differences.

Marriage is also about responsibility. The husband is responsible for the well-being of the family, as the wife is too. The main reminder to the husband is that he is to treat his wife in the most honorable way. He is responsible for meeting the financial needs of the family to live honorably. The Prophet (ﷺ) said: “The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family.”[3] The wife is also responsible to care for her family including her husband and kids. The prophet (ﷺ) said: “The woman is a guardian and is responsible for her husband’s house and his offspring; and so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your people.”[4]

Islam recognizes the needs of everyone physically, emotionally, and spiritually and urges people to marry. Addressing the physical need, the prophet said: “O young men, those of you who can provide for a family should marry, for it helps you lower your gaze and preserves you from sinful sexual acts; but those who cannot afford it should devote themselves to fasting, for it is a means of controlling sexual desire.”[5]

Addressing the emotional needs, the prophet (ﷺ) was asked once of whom he loves the most? He said: “A’esha.” As to spiritually, the prophet (ﷺ) said: “When a man awakens his wife during the night and they both perform two Rak’ah Salat together, they are recorded among the men and women who celebrate remembrance of Allah.”[6]

These days, as we are witnessing a high number of divorces, we need to prepare our young men and women what it means to get married and establish a family.

Parents should raise their kids to be responsible by being role models themselves in their families. The parents should also teach their kids how to be righteous Muslims with good manners, as it is the foundation that the prophet (ﷺ) asked for when it comes to choosing spouses.

Parents and young men and women should invest a lot in doing their homework while looking for a spouse. Family reputation, ethical foundation, types of friends, religiosity, being established are all some of the things that a person should be asking about when looking for or accepting a spouse.

The journey of marriage is not free from hardships and trials on all levels, but it can be enjoyed with what God has promised couples of tranquility, love, and mercy.

I pray that all our Muslim families enjoy their journeys of marriage, Ameen.

By Imam Kifah Mustapha

[1] Baihaqi

[2] Muslim

[3] Tirmizi

[4] Bukhari

[5] Bukhari

[6] Abu Daoud